


But You Let Him Go - Oneshot

by robertstanion



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, train - oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: Goodbye. That was all Evan texted Connor. He pulled on his jacket and got the fuck out of there, train ticket in hand, a new life destined for him. Jared saw Evan walking down the street, but when Jared called his name, he didn't flinch, nor did he answer to it. He immediately texted Connor. Connor noticed on the bed beside Evan's last picture was a train ticket. That was where Evan was going. He was going away. And Connor had to stop him.





	But You Let Him Go - Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> Self harm warning

Evan tapped his foot on the floor.

_Evan: Connor. I have to tell you something_

_Connor: What is it babe?_

_Evan: don't call me that_

_Connor: what!_

_Evan: we're breaking up. Don't bother trying to find me either._

_Connor: Evan!_

_Evan: Goodbye._

Evan tucked his phone in his pocket as he pulled his long trenchcoat on complete with hat. He grabbed the train ticket that would bring him glory and freedom, but mostly a new life. He stepped out of his house, locking the front door. At the age of 19, he felt he was capable of doing whatever. Of course, his anxiety would prove problems, but he'd overcome them. He needed a new life. He slipped his house keys into his pocket as he walked down the street, looking like something out the 20's in 2018. 

* * *

 __Jared saw Evan across the street. "EV WHERE YOU GOIN?" But the man didn't answer. He just continued walking, slip of paper in hand. Jared knew something was up. He may just be a family friend in Evan's eyes, but he was Jared's best friend, well, only friend, and Jared cared about that bitch he called Evan Hansen. But he knows when something's wrong and he ran. He ran out of his house to Connor's place, looking through his latest dms with Evan on instagram and his latest pictures they'd taken.

* * *

"NO!" Connor screamed, throwing his phone on the floor. He held his hands across from his face, wondering why he was crying. Evan was too good for him anyways...Evan didn't deserve Connor. Connor was just another emo freak who'd probably hang himself. Connor had tears falling down his face as he began shaking. He had his knees bought to his chest as he reached for the blade across from him in the draw. He pressed it against his skin, doing little to stop tears falling in fresh cuts. 

* * *

 

Zoe heard a scream from upstairs coming from Connor's room. She and Connor were home alone. Zoe probably thought this was another of Connor's outbursts, but it hit her, Connor had been sober on the drugs for 2 years, because Evan had told him to drop them. And he listened. Zoe's eyes widened as she ran up the stairs 3 at a time. She could hear weeping coming from her brother's room. She pushed the door open and saw Connor with a razor. "CONNOR MURPHY!" She shouted, running towards her brother and wrestling it out of his grip. "You're getting blood everywhere!" Connor hung his head in shame as Zoe went to get medical equipment. When she returned, Connor was clutching his phone to his chest. "C-Connor."

"He's only gone and fucking dumped me, Zo. He said I can't bother to go and find him either." Connor hiccuped. Then there was the sound of running up the stairs. 

"GUYS I'VE JUST SEEN EVAN!" Alana and Jared shouted at the same time. 

"He dumped Connor!" Zoe said, watching Alana's eyes widen and Jared gasp. 

"But guys! I found in one of his recent snapchats to me right, a train ticket. A train ticket by a grey coat which is the one I saw him wearing! He's going to the station!" Jared said. Connor looked up, finally, only to look back down again. "It's no use. He doesn't want me." Zoe sat down by her brother on her brother's bed and hugged him and just let Connor cry into her. 

"Don't be stupid Connor! Of course he fucking wants you! He's just being a petty bitch!" Jared said. "Now are we going to get you're boyfriend-"

"Ex..."

"BOYFRIEND back or what?" Jared folded his arms. 

"Lets go." Connor whispered. Zoe smiled and threw him his jacket which he tied around his waist. He was going to walk out with a bandage around his arm. Why not. Connor got up and realised how much taller he was to the rest of the group, without his boots. The remainder of them sat in Zoe's car. "TO THE TRAIN STATION!" She shouted, putting Hamilton on full blast.

* * *

Evan tapped his phone. Did he regret breaking it off with Connor? yeah, he was gonna miss him. But Connor needed to know, Evan had to go away. He held his ticket as he took a seat on the platform. He was disguising with the businessman around him. That was his plan. That was all it took. A coat to make a 19 year old look 43. 

* * *

**EVAN FIRST POV**

Did you hear that? Of course you didn't. Why would you hear that? I'm driving you insane! More importantly, I'm going insane. I stood up from the bench, pulled a cigarette out of my pocket, lit it and leaned against the mahogony post that held the station together. The wood felt smooth against my back as I exhaled fumes. I got so lost in my high, I didn't notice 4 people walk past me that looked familiar, well, they were Connor, Alana, Jared and Zoe but I didn't know that. I also didn't know my train had pulled into the station. The new coat of black and red shone in the sunlight. I dusted myself off, put out my cigarette and went to board the train, but was pushed back by floods of people exiting the carriage. "HANSEN!" That...that was Jared. And they'd fucking found me. I knew I should have moved the ticket in the photos. I knew it. Now they wouldn't leave me alone. I took my hat and coat off, like I'd planned, threw them in the bin and ran into the crowd, I was no longer blending in and my pale blue shirt was going to be obvious. "EVAN HANSEN YOU'D BETTER STOP!" Jared shouted. I was so close to the train now. One more step and I'd be on. Surprise surprise, more people flooded off. I buried my head in my hands as I just wanted to board the train. I turned around and made the mistake to see Connor above the crowd. I snapped my neck back. The crowd was getting smaller now. One more step and I'd be on. One more step....I grab the handle and pull myself up on to the step. I walk into the carriage but feel myself falling back on to the platform. I hit my head pretty hard and I black out for a while. When I regain consciousness, Jared's standing over me and I'd missed my train. 

"Happy now?" I say, sitting up. 

"No, I just want to know why you fucking LEFT WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!" I held my head in my hands again. I'm not going to tell them. I heard someone walk away and someone run away. "Evan, you....you really hurt Connor. He took his razor out..he started self harming again." Something triggered my tears as I felt one fall and I agressively wiped it away. "Give me a minute...alone..." I say. Everyone walks off, by everyone I means Jared and Alana. 

_You wanted this._

_"I never wanted this." I thought to myself._

_You always wanted this. You wanted to end it with everyone, with yourself. Now are you ready or what?_

I hit a button and felt myself go dizzy. I hit my head hard on the platform and I hear Jared scream OH SHIT before I black out. 

* * *

**CONNOR**

"He, he's bleeding..." Zoe says. I look up and Evan's lying unconscious on the platform. I stand up, but Zoe pulls me down. "Jared's called an ambulance." I get tenser. 

"All I wanted was to make sure he was okay Zoe! I never wanted any of this to happen! I can't stand this! All I want for him is to be okay!" I say, letting the tears fall. 

"Connor, I understand!" Zoe says, assisting me to the car as we follow the ambulance. But I still love Evan. And now I don't know how I'm going to confront him about this.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> based on my english essay *finger guns*


End file.
